The Voices That Haunt Us

The Voices That Haunt Us. Out Now. —- I am mentally ill. I have been mentally ill for a long time. I battle depression and anxiety and have done so for years. I have had counselling therapy and I take a little white pill every day that keeps me level. I am not ashamed of any of this. For a long time, I was ashamed, and I hid my illness from others and even from myself. I hid it well until I could no longer hide it and my body started to give up the fight. The effects of my … Continue reading The Voices That Haunt Us

I am not ashamed.

`I will unashamedly make Him known through my words and actions.” In the first chapter of Romans Paul writes, with what reads like a loud voice, ‘I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God for the salvation of all who believe.’ I’ve read that verse many times. My eyes have always been drawn to the promise of the verse, that the gospel is the power of God for the salvation of all. I’ve also always read the first words, I AM NOT ASHAMED, as some sort of chest beating moment of masculinity. Paul, in … Continue reading I am not ashamed.

This is not the end


There are few things I like to do more than cooking for a group of people. I love having a group of random people over and serving a roast or even better a chimichurri sirloin barbecue. I love food, seeing people enjoying something I’ve made (most of the time) but the real joy is finding out about people. Hearing their stories of the great times and the worst times of their lives. Food is a great leveler of people; we can all spill gravy on our jeans.  Continue reading “This is not the end”

Let the past be the past.


‘You’re not really cut out for this sort of thing. It takes character and stickability.’ I was 18 when someone who I deeply loved and respected said them to me. I had just taken the decision in my head to do what I thought God was asking me to do, to get into some kind of ministry job. I had an opportunity that excited me to the point of sleeplessness and a faith that this could be what I was made for bubbling up within me. Fifteen misplaced words later and I felt like my soul had been crushed. Lip quivering and hands shaking I said a brief thank you and got into my car. I wept the on the drive home, Nirvana’s Nevermind was playing in the car, it has never been the same to listen to it since. Continue reading “Let the past be the past.”

What if?


I was a strange little kid. That will come as no surprise to those that know me as an adult. Between running around the forest next to our house pretending to be an Ewok and being the God in Lego warfare games on the bedroom floor, I spent a lot of time what if-ing. What if I was the last person on earth (by the time I was 13 this included the current girl of my dreams also being alive)? What if I got selected to represent Great Britain in athletics? What if I was really rich? What if I could time travel? What if I WAS an Ewok? The truth it I haven’t really stopped what if-ing. Continue reading “What if?”