These were my resolutions in January this year. I think I’m actually pursuing most of them. This is a first for me. How are you doing with yours?
I’ve never been one for New Year’s resolutions. I did join a gym in January once but it didn’t work out well (oh dear – an accidental pun). I’ve had these phrases or some nebulous form of them in my head since December 31st. These are what I’m telling myself as I start 2019.
You get to decide what parts of 2018, 2017, 2011, 2003, 1998, etc. that you’re going to keep carrying around in 2019. Some of those more painful parts might be harder to drop off at the door but are they really worth holding on to? No matter how many camera angles you replay a memory from you don’t get to change the events, mourn them, grieve and let go.
Exercise more, or at all. You say it every single year. Do it. You’re getting dangerously close to forty and the longer you wait starting is just going to get harder. I know your feet hurt, your chest hurts, your knees hurt and your back hurts but it’s probably because they are carrying about more weight than they should be. Lose some of it.
And, while we are at it a whole sharing bag of crisps or 150g bar of Aero isn’t going to change the day you had. It isn’t going to do anything except add a little more pressure to your feet, knees, and back. Try some fruit. Have you ever really been comforted by comfort food? Nope.
Go into nature more. You live a stone’s throw from some beautiful places. Go and see it and breathe it in. Oh, and don’t throw stones, it’s dangerous.
You’re the only one keeping track of your failures. People fail every day, it isn’t a big deal, the world isn’t out to get you. Stop defining yourself by the didn’ts and near misses and open your eyes to the dids and near hits. There are plenty of them if you take your eyes off the negatives.
Nobody else is going to chase your dreams for you. Most people you know don’t even have any idea what they are and even more people again aren’t interested. Stop waiting for some rescuer who will hand you the things you’ve always wanted. You’re the only one who can do that, so take a shot.
Comparing yourself to your perceptions of someone else’s life will destroy you. Stop it.
Tell people when they have done something great. Don’t assume they know or that other people are telling them. Encouragement is much rarer than you think.
The most important things in your life can fit into your car, the rest is decoration and entertainment.
Social media is a thief. It doesn’t get any more worthwhile if you check it 20 times a day than if you check it twice. Stop giving it so much of your time. Read a book. Go for a walk. Listen to a Bruce Springsteen album, apparently, Nebraska is a masterpiece.
Write more. You enjoy it and it calms you down. It doesn’t matter if anyone reads it. No matter how much you think likes, shares and views matter, they don’t.
Talk about your problems, loneliness, worries, stresses, anger and fears. Talk to friends, talk to strangers. If you need to pay someone to talk to who has training on how to listen then do. Sometimes a professional ear is better than any other. Just talk more than you have in the past.
But most of all love yourself. Love your weirdness. Your stupid sense of humour. Love the talents and abilities you have. Love how you look or at least admire yourself for doing the best with what you have. Humans all look ridiculous if you stare at them for long enough. Love yourself much more than you have in the past but not too much, don’t get arrogant now. Love yourself just enough to have some extra love to share with the people that fit in the car and some more people than that.
Love yourself just enough to have some extra love to share with the people you’ll meet who need a bit of love. Love their weirdness. Their stupid sense of humour. Love their talents and abilities. Love how they look even if you’ve stared at them long enough that they have begun to look weird. Love them as you love yourself.
(Also, you need some new T-shirts. The ones in your drawer are too old. Buy some.)